he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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