I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
