I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
