I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize