Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
