and you said cock pushups were impossible
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
