i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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