I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
