Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
