My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
