the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
