I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize