I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
