Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
