After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
