would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
