dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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