Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
