If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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