Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
