if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
