If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My breasts were aching with rage.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
