Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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