Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize