Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
