recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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