i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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