We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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