I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
