HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you will always have a special place in my vag
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
