I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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