They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Also, beer. Big fan.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
