Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
