u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
