I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
