they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
