just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
