Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Randomize
