so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
