love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
