I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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