I hate all girls vehemently.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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