I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
