It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
