So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
