So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
