He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
