WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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