everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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