Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
