He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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