She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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