Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
