i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
