Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
