I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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