But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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