if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
