the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
