My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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