I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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