WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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