he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
